AntiPrincessForADay

It is the little things that really matter. There are days the big things get in the way but the little things are what really matter. Most marriages and/or relationships tend go through their ups and downs and many end around issues of "sex" and/or "money." I tend to think that if you spend more time remembering the little things they will be reminders for you as you go through the difficult times. Will it solve all of your problems in a flash, nope, but it will help you get through some of the tough times.

Although it's been almost five years I still receive random cards or notes on my pillow or computer. I periodically tape notes to doors and entrances. We both leave them where we find them in most instances as reminders. My last card had this quote in it:

"you never merely cross my mind- you always come and stay awhile, long enough to lift my spirits, warm my heart, and make me smile ..."

I found it on my pillow one day after he left for work. It put a smile on my face for the rest of the day. We argue/debate quite often. Most of my friends know I love a good debate, but there are some days that it can be completely taxing on our relationship. Here are some things I do or choose to remember even when we are "debating":

1. We never go to bed angry and always wake up holding each other.
   
2. One of us always makes the other give a kiss even when we are angry. (especially when the other is angry or annoyed).
   
3. Those little notes matter, neither of us will stop giving notes. It doesn't matter if it's handwritten or bought from the store. And we both give each other notes and cards, it's not one way and it isn't only when something is wrong or we just had an argument. The complete randomness is what makes them so important.
   
4. I always remember what I love about him. It's not the things most people would think about, it's simple things like: the fact that he loves pickles as much as I (I catch him drinking pickle juice every so often). Or that he loves to try to eat dinner together most nights. Some of the biggest and silliest reasons are that we both LOVE X-Files and watch reruns together in series.
   
5. The bigger things are knowing what's important to each other. He loves the outdoors and going fishing, although I am still a city girl at heart, when he wants to go fishing I go.

Some of the basic ways we keep our relationship healthy is what he calls "couple time" and I call "date night." Even if we have to schedule it (mostly because of my crazy schedules) I keep my "date nights."

Many of my friends keep telling me it will change the day after we "say our vows." I keep saying "that day is still just a day to me, everything before and after is what is important to me."